So Privileged by Fanta Ballo- Spoken Word Transcript

I still remember the day I told myself I was going away for college

Actually more like boarding school 

But either way, I was leaving

Sent in my applications 

Dropped out of high school 

And started college

Honestly, all I really needed was an escape

Away from home 

Away from the violence

Away from Harlem

Packed my bags and went to Great Barrington, Massachusetts

Leaving all of my friends and family behind

Not realizing the privilege in my choice

I left 

From the hood to the mountains 

I was gone

I’m so privileged 

That I got to be the first generation college graduate in my family

So privileged I go to a private school 

And leave with minimal loans

So privileged I got to sit in class and watch the white kids fathom on how exotic I looked

Like they ain’t ever see a black person before

Like they ain't ever believe i could make it here

Like i was taking up too much space

So privileged 

that every time we started talking about Africa or Slavery

The whole class wanted my input

The only topic they thought I was smart enough to handle

So privileged

that when my White professor said the N-word 

Everyone looked at me to speak up 

As if my internal suffering wasn’t enough

As if my silence wasn’t enough

As if they wanted me to wear my scars on my wrist because if they can’t see it 

It didn’t happen

So privileged

My parents could only afford 

to give me $100 every two weeks for groceries

So privileged 

I hated going home for the holidays cause I didn’t know how I could afford the  transportation 

So privileged 

So privileged

I was forced into boxes  

That just weren’t fitting 

I had to be my own standard of beauty 

Cause there just weren’t many 

And I had be me

Even on the days when it wasn’t pretty 

So privileged 

I got lost in the ideation of being black 

That I really felt like I turned my back 

On my people

Felt like all the culture was getting lost 

And I was a lost cause

And there was no point in coming back 

Until I had something to show for it all

I missed so many of my friends birthdays 

Didn’t get to see them on their worst days 

But I got to ride up on this high horse

Cause I graduated early

And on paper it looked great

But inside I was hurting 

First I wanted Law School then a PhD

Yeah, I didn’t really know my purpose 

Just a lost kid searching

For a place to call home

to my parents I am sorry that I didn’t pick up the phone

To my  friends i really hate that I left y’all alone

Im just trying to forgive myself for the things I’ve outgrown 

Cause Even with all the rainy days  

I still kicked out the storm

So privileged 

That every time I came back to my city

They tried to clown me 

Talking bout how I think I’m too good

Now that the white folks found me

And the thing that was most unsettling

It that I was accused of thinking I was better than my people

Like there’s anyone better than my people

So privileged

Could never fit in with the white folk

While getting side eyed by my folk 

As if my skin ever changed

As if my struggles were not the same

As if I wasn't the child of two immigrants

So privileged 

That everyone thought I was okay 

No one really checks in on the one who got it all together

So privileged 

They thought I had it all together

Fanta Ballo delivers an inspiring commencement speech at Bard College at Simon's Rock, radiating joy and pride.